It has suddenly hit me that my current situation is all too familiar. I was going through pretty much the same thought processes around two and a half years ago. And typically, it's about blokes...

So, I'm seeing P. He and I got together just over two years ago. We were friends for a good few months before getting together because I was seeing someone else. He decided rather than try it on and risk me falling out with him, he'd rather be just friends and at least that way he'd get to see me in some capacity. As it turned out, I hardly ever saw the guy I was dating and was getting rapidly fed up of it. P used to pay me the attention I didn't get from my chap. We'd go to the pub together, shop, or just hang out at his. Nothing ever happened, we were just friends. So anyway, after a while I finished things with my boyfriend. If I remember correctly I broke up with the guy on the Monday and was seeing P by that Saturday night.

Currently P and myself own a house together. We have a pet. He teaches me to drive. But we never see each other. He seems to have something he loves more than me - sport. He participates and watches. When this is added to the overtime he does at work, I get to see him for a few hours Monday and Wednesday nights, then again for a few hours in between games on the weekend. And this is the guy I'm supposed to be moving in with when I pass my driving test. I don't want to live like that, where I'll be in a house on my own practically all of the time. Plus, he doesn't look after the place. I've told him before that I don't want to move in until he's learned how to look after himself, because I'm not going to do everything for him. But it doesn't seem to sink in.

These aren't the only problems. When we do get to see each other he either just wants to sleep or watch tv. I don't want to spend my days either not seeing my boyfriend or watching him sleep. That's not much of a relationship. Also, and this sounds awful, but since we starting seeing each other he's put on a lot of weight and it's off putting. He's given half arsed attempts a couple of times to lose some weight but after dropping a couple of lbs he gives up. It annoys me.

But what makes this situation even more complicated is that there's someone in the background. A friend of mine. A guy. Who would like to be more than a friend, but is willing to be just that rather than nothing at all. Sound familiar? I really enjoy his company and think about him a hell of a lot. We email each other at work and text over the weekend. I see him once or twice a week at the pub. We only ever see each other with other people around. I would feel too weird if it was just us. Like I was doing something wrong. He does invite me out a lot, but is very understanding when I decline. We're good friends. Good enough that people question if that's all we are. To be honest if I was single I probably would like to be more. But I'm not. Which is what makes things way too difficult for me to try sort out.

I don't want to throw away what I have with P over what only MIGHT be something good with this other person. Especially when I've not even told P that I think anything is wrong. But I wouldn't know where to start. I think the obvious problem is not seeing each other enough. But what if we do start doing more together and my feelings don't change? Or what if he won't give up some of his sporting time? I'm too confused.